I am Elastigirl!!!!!

A friend sent me this picture...she was wondering where she knew Eric and I from. Haha!

I LOVE Fall!!

Especially this year! Our family hit a milestone (at least for me) when school started this fall: ALL of my children are in school fulltime! Whoo-hoo! I have to be honest...I am LOVING all of my new found free time. I am spending it catching up with old friends, good books and much missed sleep!

I love to feel the cool weather creeping in...a good excuse (as if I needed one) to grab a good book, a soft blanket and curl up on the couch.

The leaves are changing awakening me to the beauty that surrounds me. The sights and sounds of the season give me pause; I have a longing for family and friends.

The knowledge of quickly approaching holidays excite me. I can't wait for the sweets of Halloween, the Thanksgiving Pizza and the new PJs received on Christmas Eve!

Happy Fall!

Back to Blogging!!

Whew! I am back! I has been a buzy but fun summer! We were able to completely re-do 3 of our bathrooms at the cabin (I will post before/after pictures shortly!) plus do some fising, swimming and camping! Hope ya'll had a great summer, too!

When I Grow Up...

A few years ago, I went back to school to study Nursing. I became a CNA and began working part-time. After a year or so, family and personal commitments required me to put my schooling and working on hold.

I still long to be in school, but I have found a way for me to keep up my medical field study, for the time being, by taking a Medical Transcriptioning course. My goal is to complete the course by next fall -- when Ashlyn will be in school full-time -- and begin working working from home transcribing medical dictation.

Call Me Crazy

I always feel a loss when I reach the end of a good book.

I am sad to let go of the friends I have come to know through the story but am thankful for what they have taught me about love and hate, fellowship and aloneness, courage and fear.

I long to continue the exploration of distant regions of the world. While I read the world shrinks; I feel closer and more connected to others.

I miss the stirrings of awareness I feel of my own existence, sensations, thoughts, and surroundings.

So go ahead; call me crazy, but it is true.

I Love This

"We are Virginia Tech"

I love this; it is beautiful. Through the words and spirit of English professor and author, Nikki Giovanni, I was moved beyond the tears and sadness of yesterday's heart-rending events on the Virginia Tech campus to a firmer belief in love and hope for humanity. The response of the crowd made me rejoice; I wanted to stand with them.

My deepest sympathies to all of those who have lost loved ones. May you find a source of strength to rise above the tide of this moment.

Classic Literature Quiz: How Well Do You Know Your First Lines?

We all know there are many readers, but few true literary geniuses. For a little fun, join me in a "Classic Literature: How Well Do You Know Your First Lines" quiz. Not your idea of fun??? Humor me and take the quiz anyway like; it will help me justify the afternoon I spent ignoring my children creating this quiz.

Have fun and good luck. Please post your results.

Go take the quiz.

(Information used to create this quiz was taken from 100 Best First Lines on Litline.org)

Proof That I Am the Best Mom In the World

My kids love popsicles; love them! I hate them: they stain, they are sticky, and they never stay on the stick. I have tried to convince them that popsicles are a warm weather food that should only be enjoyed where they can be followed by a serious hosing. However, this week, after much begging and pleading from my four loud and persistent children, I purchased popsicles, allowed them enjoy their treat in the kitchen, and resisted the urge to chase them with a warm, wet rag.

Alec, who has recently begun guitar lessons, is determined to master power cords in record time. When he asks me to listen to him play his cords one more time, I smile and listen with the patience of Job, although I am sure he could not have noticeably improved within the last 3 minutes.

This week I purchased the much coveted 2 pack of sparklie panties for Madison and Ashlyn instead of the bland, economical 6 pack I usually get.

When Caedon unabashedly shared with me that he has found the girl he is going to marry when he is old enough I resisted the urge to laugh and just shared in his joy.

Against all natual inclination, I put down the book I was reading and read to my daughter when she asked me to.

And, as if you needed any more evidence, my 6 year old daughter has officially declared me to be "the Best Mom in the World".

1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die

I am loving "librarything" (thanks, jayme!!). For those of you who don't know yet, LibraryThing is an easy to use resource that allows you to create a library-quality catalog of all your books (here is a link to my catalog). To get started, or for more information, take the tour. It would be fantastic to be able to compare one another's catalogs for books we share as well as new reads.

Some of the other perks of LibraryThing are: book recommendations, connection to people with similar libraries, and participation in book groups. I particularly like the latter; it allows me to participate in or follow book dicussions without the discomfort of social interaction (wink) and time restraints.

"1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die" is one book group that I have joined. The group got it's name from the book, "1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die", by Dr. Peter Boxall. Boxall is a lecturer in English Literature at the University of Sussex; He has published widely on twentieth and twenty-first century fiction and drama. I would love to have ya'll join with me and take the challenge of reading those 1001 books before we die (note: no time restraints :))

Madison's Baptism

Getting ready! Caedon gave the baptism talk and did a fantastic job, although he forgot his notes in the car. Once he composed himself, Caedon was able to give his whole talk from memory.

Dressed and ready to go! Alec gave a very sweet opening prayer.

Dad, Mom & Me before my baptism.

The family.

Grandpa, Grandma & Me before my baptism.

New Beginnings: Part 2

Ok, Ok...so Jayme called me on it! APRIL FOOLS DAY!!!

We are all so very excited to share with ya'll that we will soon be welcoming another new, little one into our family!! She/he should arrive around the first of November! We will keep ya'll posted on all the good news!

News Worthy

From the BBC News, Saturday, 24 March 2007, 15:56 GMT:

"The General Synod of the Church of England apologised last year for its role in the slave trade. The church, through the Society for the Propagation of the Gospel in Foreign Parts, once owned the Codrington Plantation in Barbados, where slaves had the word “society” branded on their backs with a red-hot iron."

Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury said:

"The body of Christ is not just a body that exists at any one time, it exists across history and we therefore share the shame and the sinfulness of our predecessors and part of what we can do, with them and for them in the body of Christ, is pray for acknowledgement of the failure that is part of us not just of some distant ‘them’...

The intention of today is not only to renew that act of repentance, not just an apology but repentance, acknowledgement that we were part of this terrible history, but also to wake people up to where we are now, the fact there still are problems.

It's an opportunity to involve people whose ancestors were involved in this, who are still feeling the effects of it, and so bring to light some of what it meant, some of what it cost.'

"The Archbishops of Canterbury and York led a procession through London [Saturday, March 24, 2007] to mark the 200th anniversary of Britain’s abolition of the slave trade. They [joined] a group who have walked 250 miles from Hull (where abolitionist MP William Wilberforce held his Parliamentary seat) in yokes and chains."

After reading this article, I could not but help wonder: shouldn't the modern LDS Church apologize for it's past advocation, and perpetuation, of racist doctrines and practices??? Certainly, as leaders of a world-wide organization, they cannot pretend that there is no shared responsibility to their fellow men regarding the racist doctrines and practices of The Church's past. The leaders are the ones who can, and have the responsibility to, renounce those past doctrines and apologize for its past practices.

Ultimately, whether the LDS Church does (or does not) take accountability for it's troubling history is out of my hands. What is in my hands, however, is how I reconcile myself to The Church's history, as well as our current social policies, and how I connect with my brothers and sisters.

Book Review ~ The Floating Book: A Novel of Venice

This historical novel takes place in 15th-century Venice at the beginnings of the moveable printing press. It's story is really multiple stories that are linked throughout the novel.

From a review on Amazon: "Lovric's Venice can be deliciously evil and romantic at once, with murky water that sometimes gives up dead babies and with doors that hide intense passion and curses. Her characters are Venetians and foreigners alike: Sosia, a Serb Jew who seduces men of every class as long as they are Venetians; her husband Rabino, a respected doctor who embraces practical medicine over superstition; Wendelin von Speyer, a German entrepreneur and typesetter; Wendelin's Venetian wife Lussièta who loves him despite, or perhaps because of, his foreignness; Bruno, Wendelin's editor and a man at the mercy of Sosia's indifference; and many others. Catullus and his poetry hover over all as his poetic undying love for his cruel lover (mirrored in the relationship between Bruno and Sosia) becomes the publishing venture the main characters eagerly await".

The problem is, with so many characters and so many details nothing gets fully realized. Unfortunately, the book just didn't move along; It didn't seem to have anywhere to go.

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

A Budding Poetess

Four new poems from Madison Swift's Poem Book:

Sunset, Sunset,
pink, orange, yellow, red
light the way into the night.

The ocean blue.
The sand among the ocean blue
shining just for me and you.

Butterflies, butterflies,
bright and beautiful
high up in the sky.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I can't wait to
run over you!

Iraq War: Four Years Later

Iraq War: Four Years Later

Today, in 2003, the U.S. roared into Iraq with "Shock & Awe". Now, after four years of fighting, American soldiers are still rolling into Baghdad; more than 3,200 American lives have been lost and more than 50,000 Iraqis killed.

On this anniversary, I want to remember all those who have suffered, fought and died in this conflict; I hope that those left behind can find comfort. May all of us do what we can to aleviate suffering, exercise kindness and promote peace.

The Beginnings of Relief Society

165 years ago today, in 1842, Joseph Smith formally organized the Relief Society. After Joseph addressed the group of sisters, the new presidency was ordained by John Taylor.

The meeting was address’d by Prest. Smith, to illustrate the object of the Society- that the Society of Sisters might provoke the brethren to good works in looking to the wants of the poor—searching after objects of charity, and in administering to their wants- to assist by correcting the morals and strengthening the virtues of the female community, and save the Elders the trouble of rebuking; that they may give their time to other duties &c: in their public teaching.
Prest. Smith further remark’d that an organization to show them how to go to work would be sufficient. He propos’d that the Sisters elect a presiding officer to preside over them, and let that presiding officer choose two counsellors to assist in the duties of her office- that he would ordain them to preside over the Society- and let them preside just as Presidency, preside over the church: and if they need his instruction ask him, will give it from time to time.
Let this Presidency serve as a constitution- all their decisions be considered law, and acted upon as such.
If any Officers are wanted to carry out the designs of the institution, let them be appointed and set apart, as Deacons, Teachers, &C. are among us.
The minutes of your meetings will be precedent for you to act upon- your Constitution- and law.
He then suggested the propriety of electing a Presidency to continue in the office during good behavior, or so long as they shall continue to fill the office with dignity &C.,- like the first Presidency of the Church.
Motioned by Sister Whitney and seconded by Sister Packard that Mrs. Emma Smith be chosen President-passed unanimously.
Mov’d by Prest. Smith, that Mrs. Smith proceed to choose her Counsellors, that they may be ordain’d to preside over this Society, in taking care of the poor, administering to their wants, and attending to the various affairs of this Institution.
The Presidentess Elect, then made choice of Mrs. Sarah M. Cleveland and Mrs. Elizabeth Ann Whitney for Counsellors.
President Smith read the Revelation to Emma Smith, from the book of Doctrine and Covenants; and stated that she was ordain’d at the time the Revelation was given, to expound the scriptures to all; and to teach the female part of community; and that not she alone, but others, may attain to the same blessings.-The 2d Epistle of John, 1st verse, was then read to show that respect was there had to the same thing, and that why she was called an Elect lady is because elected to preside. (Eliza R. Snow Smith, Relief Society Minutes, 17 March 1842)

My experiences in Relief Society have been varied; often I struggled to belong. Now, as I reflect on the years I have spent as a member of the society, I feel a sense of thankfulness for everything it has been to me.

First, it is a place where I have grown to apprecitate all kinds of women. I consider it a blessing to be able to associate with such a varied group of women, some of whom don’t necessarily approach things the way I do, but with whom I have connection because of our shared love for the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Second, it is a place where my knowledge and understanding of the Gospel has been challenged and strengthened. As I participate in lessons, I find opportunities to ponder my faith, fine-tune my testimony, and deepen my relationship with the Savior.

Third, I love the rich history of the Relief Society. I love the connection I feel with my grandmothers and great-grandmothers knowing that we share this common thread; that we are all a part of this community of sisters. I love the feeling of being part of something larger and greater than myself.

In honor of it’s 165th birthday, share how Relief Society has affected/touched/improved your life.

Before & After

Hee-hee! I feel like a Barbie Fashion Fever Grow 'N Style doll. For the first time in 7 years I have long hair (or longer)!

It was like instant hair! Ok, not quite as easy as simply pushing a button, but after only 3 1/2 hrs. in the salon chair I was a new woman!

A Piece of the Action

"It is possible for the human spirit to be broken, then to rise again, as a Phoenix from the ashes; and the power of the imaginative mind, the power of books...is one way that rising can take place." ~ Sandy Wells, "The Letters"

Here are some ways you can help: Voices to Afganistan, Books for Soldiers, Books to Prisoners

Wife of a rock star!

Who knew, right? ...but it is true. Eric was a rock star; or so he says.

During high school, Eric was a member of a straight edge punk band named "Scared Straight". After countless hours spent honing their skills in friend's garages, the five adolescent young men set out in search of their dreams on their first tour across America. For weeks they traveled together in a foul van, slept where they could, enjoyed a growing base of fans and the thrill of artistic abandon. Unfortunately, the tour was cut short when all of their equipment was stolen after the gig at the Electric Banana in Pittsburg.

Not to be so easily detered, "Scared Straight" continued to practice and play. The next year, they set out on their second tour, this time to the south-western states. In 1985 they released a mini- album, ironically named, "Born to be Wild".

More information available at http://bandtoband.com/index.php?Page=Search&BandId=1185

International Women's Day ~ March 8, 2007

Since today is International Women's Day I wanted to honor the essenstial women in my life.

First, my Mom. It was not until I matured, married and had children of my own that I began to fully appreciate the greatness of my mother. She is strong, independent and faithful. She taught me to seek for truth and to develop charity. My mom taught me the Gospel of Christ; it is the integrity and strength of her faith that has laid the foundation of my own. My mother gave me life; literally, by birth, but also by her love and belief in me which gives me the ability to be who I am.

Second, my Sister. This relationship is one of the most beautiful I have. My sister is sensitive, intelligent and funny. We grew into womanhood together, being so close in age; through college, marriage and children she has been my constant friend. I still share with her my most intimate thoughts and fears; I love to be with her and cannot go a day or two without speaking with her.

Third, my Grandmother. Although I did not live near my Grandmother, she was a constant presence in my life. My parents frequently spoke of her and I strove to be like her. To me, she was an authentic person; she lived her life honestly. When my courage or energy fails me, she is one that I turn to for strength. She was constantly pursuing knowledge. It is from her, either inherently or by example, that I gained my love of reading. This is a gift that has, and continues to, greatly enrich my life.

What effect have the women in your life had on you?

A Few Book Reviews

Veil of Roses ~ Fitzgerald

While the plot is familiar (boy meets girl, an obstacle stands in the way of their relationship, but love prevails in the end), it is told from a point of view that is unique in American literature: that of a young Iranian woman. The political and religious elements of the story are presented in perfect measure; honest but not sensationalized. Tamila is an endearing character that I quickly fell in love with, and continued to admire as the story unfolded and more details of her repressive life in Iran become apparent. I enjoyed experiencing Tami embrace her new found freedom, and marvel at the American culture, which gave me, an American reader, a fresh view on my own everyday life.

Veil of Roses was a quick, entertaining read; it grabbed my attention immediately and held it. I would categorize it as "chick-lit", however, it is more thought-provoking than most "chick-lit" novels; it left me with a desire to learn more about the Persian culture.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Rasputin's Daughter ~ Alexander

Alexander's book is set in the period of the Russian revolutions and the fall of the Romanovs but the emphasis is on Rasputin -- the much-hated madman who "cured" Alexei Romanov and, it is believed, played a key part in bringing about the downfall of Russia.

The story is told through the words of Rasputin's oldest daughter and allows us to see him in a different light; his flaws are not glossed over, but a "good" side of him emerges. We also learn about the various plots to kill him.

This also was a quick, entertaining read. The quality of the writing is fair.

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

In Cold Blood ~ Capote

I loved, loved this book! I found it touching, horrifying, and saddening. Capote is a master at taking you into the minds of the killers and forcing you to take a different view of criminals; it left me wondering of ways in which we could take better care of those who are on the fringes of society.

For me this was one of those rare books I could not put down and hated to finish.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars


The Bell Jar ~ Plath

Facinating, well written novel on the study of psychology. The Bell Jar tells the story of a young Esther Greenwood at the beginning of her mental decline. She first recognizes its oncoming during a summer of interning at a magazine company in New York City. Trying to fit in with the other interns, as well as dealing with boys and co-workers prove to be a struggle at times for her. Later, when the real depression and suicidal thoughts set in, we are invited into a dark and scary world, one created realistically and honestly by Plath.

I am so glad I read this book...it is one of my favorites.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Through the Eyes of a Child

While running errands the other day with Ashlyn, she asked me if she could use my camera which happened to be in the car. As a means to keep her pacified, I said yes. When we later reviewed what she had captured...I found that they revealed a charming view of the world.

Mardi Gras Madness

How will you be spending this most honorable of holidays?

To help get you in the spirit...below is a "Mardi Gras Madness" Quiz. Whoever gets the most questions right will be receiving a traditional King Cake. Individuals may enter once; you may not use any other resources other than your brain. Post your answers here. If there are multiple winners, I will post a tie breaking question. Entries will be taken from 2/16 to 2/20.

(Nope, I'm not kidding. Be sure to include your mailing address)

"LAISSEZ LES BONS TEMPS ROULE”

1.) Louisiana crawfish come from what type of water? (a) fresh water (b) salt water

2.) While crossing a highway at night, a crawfish sees the headlights of an oncoming car. What will the crawfish likely do as the car approaches? (a) hurry to the other side of the road (b) turn around and go back from where it came (c) get in a defensive position with its claws up -- ready for battle (d) turn away from the bright lights

3.) You're boiling the crawfish. What are you least likely to put in the pot? (a) garlic (b) onions (c) corn (d) potatoes (e) celery (f) cream cheese (g) cayenne pepper (h) beer (i) lemons

4.) You're eating boiled crawfish. Which crawfish do you avoid? (a) the ones with the long antennae (b) the ones with the straight tails (c) the ones that are red in color (d) the ones that are really big.

5.) Which of the following are you not likely to do when eating boiled crawfish? (a) pry them open with a knife (b) pinch the tails (c) suck the heads (d) eat the tails

6.) What time of year are you least likely to have a crawfish boil? (a) Mardi Gras (b) Good Friday (c) Early June (d) Late September.

7.) What are you least likely to put in a gumbo? (a) ground sassafras leaves (b) avocados (c) blue crab bodies (d) andouille (e) okra (f) roux (g) boiled eggs.

8.) What color is a merliton? (a) bright red (b) light yellow (c) light green (d) dark brown

9.) What does "sac-a-lait" mean? (a) a Cajun dance step (b) milk sack (c) crappie (fish) (d) bag of rice (e) both (b) & (c) (f) both (a) & (d).

10.) Which town is the home of the International Rice Festival and the birth of Edwin Edwards' political career? (a) Jennings (b) Ville Platte (c) Rayne (d) Crowley.

11.) A jambalaya must contain what ingredient? (a) sausage (b) shrimp (c) rice (d) tomatoes.

12.) Which of the following is usually served with rice? (a) gumbo (b) etouffee (c) stew (d) all of the above (d) both (a) and (c).

13.) What is the "holy trinity" of ingredients found in virtually every Cajun dish? (a) cayenne pepper, black pepper, and white pepper (b) salt, pepper, and basil (c) onions, bell peppers, and celery (d) flour, water, and oil.

14.) If a Cajun orders a sandwich, he/she is most likely to order what? (a) hogie (b) submarine (c) po-boy (d) a sandwich on rye bread.

15.) In Cajun Louisiana, at what time of year are the least amount of oysters consumed?
(a) spring (b) summer (c) fall (d) winter.

16.) Which one of the following is not considered authentic Cajun food and has only been attributed to be Cajun in recent years? (a) jambalaya (b) blackened fish (c) sauce piquante (d) etouffee.

17.) For good luck and wealth, what should you eat on New Year's Day? (a) jambalaya and white beans (b) gumbo and potato salad (c) cabbage and black-eyed peas (d) fried fish and white beans
18.) What animal is a Cajun least likely to eat? (a) turtle (b) frog (c) squirrel (d) nutria.

19.) What part of the alligator provides the best meat? (a) the legs (b) the back (c) the tail (d) the head.

20.) What is boudin (pronounced "boo-danh")? (a) fish cooked in a spicy tomato sauce (b) a sausage stuffed with rice and meat (c) a Cajun pork stew (d) crawfish in a cheese sauce stuffed into French bread.

21.) What is bouie (pronounced "boo-yee")? (a) knife (b) sandwich (c) custard (d) cake.

22.) What Cajun song is sometimes referred to as the "Cajun National Anthem"? (a) Jolie Blonde (b) Allons a Lafayette (c) La Porte d'en Arrière (d) Colinda.

23.) You're at a Cajun dance and the band plays the "Cajun National Anthem". What type of dance is danced to the music? (a) Cajun two-step (b) Cajun waltz (c) Cajun jitterbug (d) Cajun one-step.

24.) What does "fais-do-do" mean? (a) go to sleep (b) an evening feast (c) a gathering of people for Cajun music and dance (d) both (a) & (b) (e) both (a) & (c).

25.) What is a pirogue? a) Large pot for cooking b) Small wooden boat pointed on both ends
c) A Cajun's front porch d) A Cajun holiday.

Finally, for those of you who really want to get into the spirit...the Mardi Gras Parade will be broadcast at http://www.mardigrasday.com/ on February 20th.

"Love is all there is" ~ Emily Dickenson

My husband recently attended a "Baptism Fireside" with our daughter; she will be turning 8 in March. Throughout the evening, she shared the enthusiasm of her peers as they learned the privileges and responsibilities that would be their's over the next year. On the ride home her enthusiasm began to wane and turned to apprehension.

When she arrived home she questioned whether or not she should get baptized. The basis for her questioning was quite profound: if she chose to be baptized, would she never be able to wear "showing tummy" swimsuits and, on the flip-side, if she chose not to be baptized would she always have to wear "showing tummy" swimsuits. In her sweet, 7 year old mind, this was a very pressing issue.

At 35, I consider the choice I have made not to wear a "showing tummy" swimsuit a blessing -- for me, as well as for those around me. However, as I continued to ponder over our conversation I wondered what, really, was the basis for her questioning. To me it seemed that she was trying to shape the beginning of her belief system, albeit on a very simple level. It encouraged me to again consider what shape my own belief system had taken; what the motivation of my faith was.

For many years I lived a perfunctory life; I combed my hair, did the laundry, tended to my children, attended church each Sunday, said my prayers and read my scriptures. I believed I was doing "what was right". However, my primary motivator was fear. In the face of the possibility of failure, I was anxious; At times, my anxiety became so strong that I lost my sensibilities. It was easier then to act mechanically rather to think and feel. Not surprisingly, my life lacked a sense of contentment and satisfaction.

So how was I to change my spiritual motivations? I started by asking myself: What, ultimately, was my goal? My answer: To achieve immortality and eternal life.

The Savior has already made provision for part of this goal to be achieved: through the Atonement, he has brought immortality to all of God’s children here on earth (1 Cor. 15). To achieve the second part of my goal, eternal life, for me, meant re-learning how to heed the counsel of Moroni and “Come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; … and love God with all your might, mind and strength" (Moro. 10:32–33).

I desired to change my fear into love. The Savior has said, “there is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear; because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” (1 Jn. 4:18.) For this to occur it required two actions on my part: first, faith that the Lord could heal me from my weaknesses and second, to take an honest look at myself. I began by refining and solidify my testimony -- beginning with deepening my relationship with the Savior.

This continues to be an active process in my life. My hope is that as I strive to change my heart I will more frequently find joy in the achievement of my spiritual goals as I seek them because I want to rather than because I ought to.

For posterity's sake...

is why I have chosen to
disclose
this photo. Boy, what memories
it brings back!

While sharing this charming photo with my children I was disheartened to find that were but few individuals with whom they were aquainted. What a failing on my part.

I have a wonderful family. I have been influenced by them in infinite ways over the years; By them I have been accepted, succored and taught thus learning how to be tolerant, benevolent and discerning. I am proud of them and I am inspired by them; most especially, I am glad to be a part of them.

Me

...or I wish this was me.

If I could, I would spend my days like this: reading, studying and contemplating.

Reality is, my life just not like that...not yet at least. I have four lovely children who fill my days with, well, let's just say, less than contemplative moments.

So for now, I just dream.