My husband recently attended a "Baptism Fireside" with our daughter; she will be turning 8 in March. Throughout the evening, she shared the enthusiasm of her peers as they learned the privileges and responsibilities that would be their's over the next year. On the ride home her enthusiasm began to wane and turned to apprehension.

When she arrived home she questioned whether or not she should get baptized. The basis for her questioning was quite profound: if she chose to be baptized, would she never be able to wear "showing tummy" swimsuits and, on the flip-side, if she chose not to be baptized would she always have to wear "showing tummy" swimsuits. In her sweet, 7 year old mind, this was a very pressing issue.

At 35, I consider the choice I have made not to wear a "showing tummy" swimsuit a blessing -- for me, as well as for those around me. However, as I continued to ponder over our conversation I wondered what, really, was the basis for her questioning. To me it seemed that she was trying to shape the beginning of her belief system, albeit on a very simple level. It encouraged me to again consider what shape my own belief system had taken; what the motivation of my faith was.

For many years I lived a perfunctory life; I combed my hair, did the laundry, tended to my children, attended church each Sunday, said my prayers and read my scriptures. I believed I was doing "what was right". However, my primary motivator was fear. In the face of the possibility of failure, I was anxious; At times, my anxiety became so strong that I lost my sensibilities. It was easier then to act mechanically rather to think and feel. Not surprisingly, my life lacked a sense of contentment and satisfaction.

So how was I to change my spiritual motivations? I started by asking myself: What, ultimately, was my goal? My answer: To achieve immortality and eternal life.

The Savior has already made provision for part of this goal to be achieved: through the Atonement, he has brought immortality to all of God’s children here on earth (1 Cor. 15). To achieve the second part of my goal, eternal life, for me, meant re-learning how to heed the counsel of Moroni and “Come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; … and love God with all your might, mind and strength" (Moro. 10:32–33).

I desired to change my fear into love. The Savior has said, “there is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear; because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” (1 Jn. 4:18.) For this to occur it required two actions on my part: first, faith that the Lord could heal me from my weaknesses and second, to take an honest look at myself. I began by refining and solidify my testimony -- beginning with deepening my relationship with the Savior.

This continues to be an active process in my life. My hope is that as I strive to change my heart I will more frequently find joy in the achievement of my spiritual goals as I seek them because I want to rather than because I ought to.